Being Happy As You Grow

 

Being Happy as you Grow.

As an adult, we do not pursue things that take away from our family time in any way. If we do, we better be really great at it. It has to completely justify the fact that someone else is holding the household together for that hour. The family will have to deal with, not only a badly made sambar but also spilt chutney, upset children, burnt dosas and incomplete homework.

Yes, sometimes, it is completely not worth it. But sometimes it is. Are you a more patient person, are you tired and exhausted but happy, are you working towards the big picture of how you perceive you to be? You are showing your family (children, spouse, parents and in laws) that you value yourself. You are showing them that you will take care of yourself, make time for yourself and that they should as well.

I have been going for Bharathanatyam classes as an adult for the last 13 years, with a 2-and-a-half-year break when I had my third child. I had learnt it as a child for almost 8 years.  My husband used to hate the fact that I was not there during dinner times twice a week. He never said a word about it since he knew that I would stop going if he said something. Yes, I would have stopped, and it would crop up as an angry wife who would not know what she was angry about. He was smart enough to see it before me and made sure that the dinner was a rice dish on the days of my dance classes. These days, the hubby and kiddos have way too much Screen time on my Dance Class days and await it eagerly all week long. 

 Both my girls learnt dance as well. My older one for 2 years and my younger one for 3. They then stopped. It was harder for me to justify to others that the kids were home pursuing things that made them happy while I was doing mine.  The children meanwhile grew up into beautiful teens who not only make the best dosas but also clean the dining table. We still have watery sambar, spilt chutneys, incomplete homework, fabulous dosas and a happy mom.

Kids will grow up too soon and will learn to make time for themselves only because they saw you do it. My mother and mother-in-law never made any time for themselves and were completely lost when the last of their children left home. Both of them encouraged me to pursue dance even though things were crazy at home. They saw a different way of doing things and a way where the whole family is there for each other. My father would go for badminton every single day but my mom never did. It was not something she even considered. She was initially aghast when my Mother in law encouraged me to dance and now both of them make sure that I never miss a class. When you value your time, the others will value your time as well.    

It was obvious that I was not a fabulous dancer. I would not give world class performances like many others in my dance class. I would keep getting a little better every year. I can almost keep up with kiddos a third of my age. The kids I have seen crawling around in class are now teaching me. I love it. Dance keeps me grounded.  In my first dance class, Ananda akka told me that she does not do separate dance classes for adults since we need to learn dance without any egos. That hit home. We need to put aside our ego and just learn.  I have learnt from many teachers since then at Shankarananda Kalakshethra and they are all brilliant. They teach and learn without any egos.   

Art has to be a part of your life in some form of the other. This is something that Ananda akka had said in one of her Interviews and it resonated with me a lot. Find your art and grow with it. Be a happy you.